Man Shopping

Screenshot_20181023-112436_Match

Online men shopping is my new addiction: “searching for love in all the wrong places”. Discovered there are several polyamorous men online. I am OK with a dude not wanting monogamy, but hey I was with a married guy for 45 years! Enough is enough.  Oy, I have so much to learn. Looking at all the handsome men online is almost like perusing a Chico’s clothing catalog. Checking them out for style, size, and shape. I may need a few “in-store visits” to check out the material, however.

There was a nice enough looking guy in Croton, and I was tempted, but he was a bit too artsy-fartsy in a New Age kind of way. Saying he had “healing hands” was a bit over the top even for me. Ultimately, I only messaged Stevie in Peekskill. Admired his political views, but must  admit, his passion for sailing is a real turn on for me. I wonder: does he own a boat??

Another guy posted that he is looking for a “submissive” and that he does not want a “vanilla” life. His photo has his head chopped off “for security reasons” so not really appealing. Think he may have read Fifty Shades of Grey too many times.  Really Dude, not all women want to be tied up and whipped (unless there is whipped cream on the menu).

Then there was the pretentious guy, who posted that he lives in the Scarsdale/New Rochelle area. Hey, I was raised in Scarsdale, so I know exactly what that means; he has the much  “desired” 10583 zip code, but really resides in New Rochelle. A wannabe. And he wants a widowed or divorced, financially stable woman who has no cats or dogs and has a car!! Admittedly, I was very snarky when I wrote him back, that while financially OK, I have 2 cats and no car. Shocking that he never replied.

Finally I was drawn to a British Jew (wow, I do love an accent) who had attended Oxford University! And I am an education snob. But on his “want” list was to have children. He is 58. Do you think that he would consider my 40 year old son as an option??  After all, his braces and college loans have long been paid off.

One of my oldest friends came to stay for a few days. We spent a few delightful hours perusing men on the various websites. It’s raining men! Who knew so many good looking, educated ( Jewish) men are available in Westchester? Sent cute little messages to maybe a dozen men. Wrote to a man who dubbed himself “Caviar Johnnie”, that caviar is my favorite treat. Of course Mollie told me that I did it all wrong and fortunately, for any potential social life, she is on her way over to give me online dating etiquette lessons tonight.

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